1. *** Sound is a wave ...
But you don't sound so brave.
2. *** I do things in alphabetical order,
It keeps me from progressing my mental disorder.
I also try to live chronological,
Doctor says: it keeps the history logical.
3. *** Even riding an horse
Cannot save this divorce.
We've already tried riding a carriage,
And it did not save this marriage.
4. *** People who are abbreviated
Are either very much loved or very much hated.
5. *** I always think about radiation,
Because I don't like any invisible penetration.
6. *** They say: “We can kill Cancer with Cancer”,
But is it really the answer?
*7. ** I can still play my turn table,
But to turn time back I am not able.
8. *** Never make fun of your fans,
Remember: they even paid for your pants.
9. *** My cooking was great:
All my cookies you ate.
10. *** I cannot live in a pyramid,
I would rather live on the street.
Pyramids are for the rich and the dead,
I am neither of that.
*** Write with your hand
What you understand.
Write with your foot
What is not understood.
12. ** Stupidity has no cure,
But at least it stays pure.
13. *** I don't have many friends,
And I manage to live with only two hands.
14. *** The lady, who donated your egg,
Had at least one beautiful leg.
15. *** I don't worry about foreign oil,
Idaho potatoes for lunch I boil.
16. *** Being drunk comes in a wide variety,
But there is only one kind of sobriety.
17. *** Just add water
To make a dollar from a quarter.
18. *** Doing things sequentially
You will be done eventually.
When busy multitasking,
For trouble you are asking.
19. *** Some governments don't dare
To start a foreign affair.
Some governments simply stay focal
And keep the affairs local.
21. *** A single engine plane
Piloted by Mark Twain.
22. *** If you want to leave me,
Please don't forgive me.
It sounds a little strange,
But I hope you'll come back to revenge.
23. *** The story was twisted,
On "un-twist" he insisted.
I don't mean to be rude,
But now everything is screwed.
24. *** I like the way you talk,
Your tongue can never lock.
It is not attached by cords,
But try to use some words.
25. *** Every boy needs a structure
Before he gets a bone fracture.
26. *** Once your name has a computer error,
Be prepared for the reign of terror.
27. *** Stupid people say so many prophecies,
They need to open their offices.
28. *** We've seen many good actors,
But they died from various factors.
The actors, who act bad,
Live longer, and that is sad.
29. *** Some people only like to ensure,
When they know to get paid for sure.
They don't buy insurance
For security assurance.
30. *** Every Millennium
I need to change linoleum.
31. *** If I only had three wishes,
I would not waste them on dishes.
I would order a wish-making machine,
And stay healthy and thin.
32. *** I know my statements are not credible,
But the fat green Hulk is Incredible.
33. *** I like to hear your voice,
But please don't forget to sign the invoice.
I do care how you feel,
But please pay the outstanding bill.
34. *** Paris Hilton is our new Prophet:
She entertains us not-for-profit.
35. *** I don't like when people pretend,
But it's the unprofessional pretending I cannot stand.
36. *** I like to drink beer
With the person in the mirror:
He drinks with me in sync,
He thinks whatever I think.
37. *** Industrial Revolution
Is credited with pollution:
It is even spelled with "dust",
Un-breathe the pollution we must.
38. *** We won the race in space:
The aliens have ugly face.
39. *** Romeo was a tragic lover ...
At the time they didn't have electric power.
And even the early desist Hamlet
Did not have an eclectic outlet.
40. *** She is so unconventional ...
The pun is not intentional.
She is so controversial ...
Let's go to the next commercial.
41. *** For you everything is Critical.
I don't want to be political,
But on what authority
You assign to everything your Critical Priority?
42. *** I've never seen cheetah
But when the cheetah wants to be scary,
It drinks Bloody Mary.
43. *** They predict that the number of microchips
Will soon exceed the number of all the potato chips.
And even every chip we eat
With microchip will be equipped.
44. *** Angry people burn more calories,
They are even angry when paid salaries.
45. *** I've heard it is illegal
To carry on your head your beloved beagle.
46. *** It is so weird
to see you without the beard,
You used to smile like a bear,
Now your lips have nothing to wear.
47. *** It is our custom
To help our customers to accustom.
We will tailor and customize,
So your comfort will maximize.
48. *** THE THINGS THAT MATTER
ARE NOT MADE OF MATTER.
49. *** I prefer to be alone,
I donate to public my mental clone.
50. *** Even aliens don't want to be alienated,
And that's why humans are not annihilated.
51. *** I have read an article:
They've uncovered a new space particle,
And one thing in particular:
The particle is extracurricular.
52. *** Don't text-and-drive,
It's not the way to stay alive.
53. *** I am not “Yours Truly”,
Please be aware of it fully.
54. *** Statements that don't stick
Are inherently weak,
But in a good state of mind
Your statements will shine.
55. *** Smart is a good start,
But Wise only some Smarts can realize.
56. *** In Uptown –- all is upside down,
In Downtown –- too easy to drown.
57. *** I thought that good feelings my heart have “infested”,
But my doctor insists that I need to be tested.
58. *** The price of silence is unknown,
The value of talk is overblown.
59. *** It is likely that your future tutor
Will be some kind of a computer.
60. *** ”You can never fall from the Moon
Because it rotates too soon.
But be wise my son,
And never dive into the Sun.”
61. *** AD: “Your life has no trajectory
If you are not listed in our Directory.”
62. *** Things that we call “official”
Are often superficial,
But things that are very informal
Seem unnaturally normal.
63. *** The reason we love pickles
Because their taste tickles.
64. *** Today's art is so contemporary:
It is here only temporary.
65. *** Light goes at the Light Speed:
Our spendings the income should not exceed.