1. *** Sound is a wave ...

But you don't sound so brave.


2. *** I do things in alphabetical order,

It keeps me from progressing my mental disorder.

I also try to live chronological,

Doctor says: it keeps the history logical.


3. *** Even riding an horse

Cannot save this divorce.

We've already tried riding a carriage,

And it did not save this marriage.


4. *** People who are abbreviated

Are either very much loved or very much hated.


5. *** I always think about radiation,

Because I don't like any invisible penetration.


6. *** They say: “We can kill Cancer with Cancer”,

But is it really the answer?


*7. ** I can still play my turn table,

But to turn time back I am not able.


8. *** Never make fun of your fans,

Remember: they even paid for your pants.


9. *** My cooking was great:

All my cookies you ate.


10. *** I cannot live in a pyramid,

I would rather live on the street.

Pyramids are for the rich and the dead,

I am neither of that.


11. *** Write with your hand

What you understand.

Write with your foot

What is not understood.


12. ** Stupidity has no cure,

But at least it stays pure.


13. *** I don't have many friends,

And I manage to live with only two hands.


14. *** The lady, who donated your egg,

Had at least one beautiful leg.


15. *** I don't worry about foreign oil,

Idaho potatoes for lunch I boil.


16. *** Being drunk comes in a wide variety,

But there is only one kind of sobriety.


17. *** Just add water

To make a dollar from a quarter.


18. *** Doing things sequentially

You will be done eventually.

When busy multitasking,

For trouble you are asking.


19. *** Some governments don't dare

To start a foreign affair.

Some governments simply stay focal

And keep the affairs local.


21. *** A single engine plane

Piloted by Mark Twain.


22. *** If you want to leave me,

Please don't forgive me.

It sounds a little strange,

But I hope you'll come back to revenge.


23. *** The story was twisted,

On "un-twist" he insisted.

I don't mean to be rude,

But now everything is screwed.


24. *** I like the way you talk,

Your tongue can never lock.

It is not attached by cords,

But try to use some words.


25. *** Every boy needs a structure

Before he gets a bone fracture.


26. *** Once your name has a computer error,

Be prepared for the reign of terror.


27. *** Stupid people say so many prophecies,

They need to open their offices.


28. *** We've seen many good actors,

But they died from various factors.

The actors, who act bad,

Live longer, and that is sad.


29. *** Some people only like to ensure,

When they know to get paid for sure.

They don't buy insurance

For security assurance.


30. *** Every Millennium

I need to change linoleum.


31. *** If I only had three wishes,

I would not waste them on dishes.

I would order a wish-making machine,

And stay healthy and thin.


32. *** I know my statements are not credible,

But the fat green Hulk is Incredible.


33. *** I like to hear your voice,

But please don't forget to sign the invoice.

I do care how you feel,

But please pay the outstanding bill.


34. *** Paris Hilton is our new Prophet:

She entertains us not-for-profit.


35. *** I don't like when people pretend,

But it's the unprofessional pretending I cannot stand.


36. *** I like to drink beer

With the person in the mirror:

He drinks with me in sync,

He thinks whatever I think.


37. *** Industrial Revolution

Is credited with pollution:

It is even spelled with "dust",

Un-breathe the pollution we must.


38. *** We won the race in space:

The aliens have ugly face.


39. *** Romeo was a tragic lover ...

At the time they didn't have electric power.

And even the early desist Hamlet

Did not have an eclectic outlet.


40. *** She is so unconventional ...

The pun is not intentional.

She is so controversial ...

Let's go to the next commercial.


41. *** For you everything is Critical.

I don't want to be political,

But on what authority

You assign to everything your Critical Priority?


42. *** I've never seen cheetah

Drinking Margarita,

But when the cheetah wants to be scary,

It drinks Bloody Mary.


43. *** They predict that the number of microchips

Will soon exceed the number of all the potato chips.

And even every chip we eat

With microchip will be equipped.


44. *** Angry people burn more calories,

They are even angry when paid salaries.


45. *** I've heard it is illegal

To carry on your head your beloved beagle.


46. *** It is so weird

to see you without the beard,

You used to smile like a bear,

Now your lips have nothing to wear.


47. *** It is our custom

To help our customers to accustom.

We will tailor and customize,

So your comfort will maximize.





49. *** I prefer to be alone,

I donate to public my mental clone.


50. *** Even aliens don't want to be alienated,

And that's why humans are not annihilated.


51. *** I have read an article:

They've uncovered a new space particle,

And one thing in particular:

The particle is extracurricular.


52. *** Don't text-and-drive,

It's not the way to stay alive.


53. *** I am not “Yours Truly”,

Please be aware of it fully.


54. *** Statements that don't stick

Are inherently weak,

But in a good state of mind

Your statements will shine.


55. *** Smart is a good start,

But Wise only some Smarts can realize.


56. *** In Uptown –- all is upside down,

In Downtown –- too easy to drown.


57. *** I thought that good feelings my heart have “infested”,

But my doctor insists that I need to be tested.


58. *** The price of silence is unknown,

The value of talk is overblown.


59. *** It is likely that your future tutor

Will be some kind of a computer.


60. *** ”You can never fall from the Moon

Because it rotates too soon.

But be wise my son,

And never dive into the Sun.”


61. *** AD: “Your life has no trajectory

If you are not listed in our Directory.”


62. *** Things that we call “official”

Are often superficial,

But things that are very informal

Seem unnaturally normal.


63. *** The reason we love pickles

Because their taste tickles.


64. *** Today's art is so contemporary:

It is here only temporary.


65. *** Light goes at the Light Speed:

Our spendings the income should not exceed.